Never Said Anything

Yes, It has been a long time since I have written in here.  The past 6 months have been busy.  How busy you ask? Very busy.  I could spend 5 entries getting you up to date, but instead I will just hit the floor running.

One week ago I asked for a substantial raise.  I felt this was needed due to the fact that I’m doing much more then what my job description says.  I told you that to tell you this…I’m home sick.  I told myself I’d give Seattle 5 years, here I am at 3 years 2 months.

I just keep thinking of how easy life really was in Kansas and there are so many things I miss.  I feel since I’ve been out here I’ve lost some of the things I used to love….music.  I feel that I would enjoy this city more if I could follow the night life.  But at last I’m an adult living in a small apartment wishing for the future.

I told my bosses that if the raise isn’t enough I might have to go back to Kansas.  I’ve been told that was a ballsy mood, that it may be, but it was the truth.

Cope out?  Maybe, but I’m dying to know what the future holds.

With that said, I leave with this little ditty from Tegan and Sara.

“I wake up exhausted it’s not morning
it’s back to sleep to re-dreaming
we’re alone and we’re happy
but there you are, angry with me
are you all right? I can stand up straight
are you all right? can’t you get me off your mind?
I hated this city before you came here
so let go and move on
we’re strangers, we’re not friends
I hate this and I hate them
this city’s exhausted and it’s wound up
soon to be a place that’s just filled up
and I found out that you’re angry
and you’re sorry you ever met me
are you all right? I can stand up straight
are you all right? can you get me off your mind?
I am alright I can stand up straight
are you alright can you get me off your mind
I wake up exhausted it’s not morning
it’s back to sleep to re-dreaming
we’re alone and we’re happy
but there you are, angry with me
are you all right? I can stand up straight
I am all right, I can get you off my mind.
I am all right, I can stand up straight
are you all right? can you get me off your mind,
can you get me off your mind,
can you get me off your mind?”

Ch Ch Ch Changes…

Well it happened…I now work in an official IT department.  The tech in me has officially blossomed into a brand new career.  My department (Telecom) has been absorbed by the IT department.  While I join that department, I will be learning more ropes in the IT world.  Which is fine with me, especially if I can become Microsoft Certified.  But all this will come with time.

The big step first is I need to clean my office, and move into the IT boxed office.  I am not a fan of this, because I will loose my privacy and have less space the clutter up!

I am not pushing to get my raise on, and I will be doing more work, but this all comes with time.

For now, here is a picture I took last week when we had the never ending fog.

I know I have said this before, but I am still always amazed by the path ones life will take.  To look ahead and not know what the future holds, but yet look back and see the trail leading up to where you are now.

2009 is definitely a new chapter in my life and I am looking forward to see where it is taking me.

“Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” - Ferris Bueller

I always try to write and entry on this fateful day.  Because as it has been repeated over again…Never Forget.

I will never forget.

As we are 7 years out from that day, I take it as a chance to reflect on my own life. And I think many Americans do the same. 

One thing I will always remember is September 12th, the compassion everyone showed for one another.  That sort of compassion still hits me today. 

I take this day and let the little things pass, I show compassion to my fellow Americans.  Today I made sure that I was always the last to exit the door, and if I was first…I would hold it open. 

Today is the day of reflection and I’m sure everyone feels the same.

Also on this day I think back to Eddie Saiya…a man I have never met, but I know so much about.  Frank Saiya; Eddie’s older brother was a teacher in my photography class.

Eddie worked on the 110th floor of WTC 2, at the time of the attack he was on the roof of WTC 2…he didn’t make it out.

http://www.legacy.com/Sept11/Story.aspx?PersonID=147182

http://www.cjonline.com/stories/091701/kst_disaster.shtml.BAK1

http://www.cjonline.com/stories/091302/sep_saiya.shtml

Frank ended up making several trips to New York after the attacks.  At one point he brought in part of the Towers to show the class.  Something so far away suddenly came so close.

In the summer of 2006 I was able to go to New York, but did not go to Ground Zero.  Being in New York brought it so very close and I hope to go back.

When I got home from work today I went on a hike and ended up on the beach.  While I’m looking at the mountains, the water, the sun setting, I think…this is the best place to live in the entire world.

Never forget this day, never forget how we acted as a nation, never forget September 11th 2001.

It all started 2,415 days ago, It ended 2,149 days ago.

Congratulations. 

“This’ll be the last time that I think about it…
This’ll be the last time that anything you ever said to me would matter…
Cause goodbye, is just something left to say…
Goodbye…“

It was 1989 and I was in full swing of being a 5 year old at the end of a decade.  At the same time I was making my mom buy cereal that was focused around movies that were littered with phrases such as “bogus” and “excellent”.  Yes, I am talking about the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Besides Bill and Ted, you had Rufus…or George Carlin.  I fell in love with this cheesy 80’s/90’s classic.  Even so much that I made my mom buy the cereal just so I could get the Plastic “Phone Booth” that was glued to the front of the box.

That was my first introduction to Mr. Carlin.  I also then connected the dots to the “new” Mr. Conductor of Shining Time Station.  How could the guy who wrote the ”seven dirty words” be hosting a kids show on PBS?  Answer…because we had no idea.

But a few years down the road I connected those dots.

My neighbor, Ryan was staying the night.  It was 1992 or 1993 and we did what any did would do at a sleep over.  Try to stay up all night long! Also watch the channel that Mom wouldn’t let you watch past 6pm…HBO.

Turning the channel to 18 at 11pm on that Saturday night, I was introduced to Mr. Conductor with the foulest mouth I had ever heard. Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits, Fart, Turd, and Twat.  To hear such language just blew my fucking mind.  But he was damn funny, enough though I didn’t understand half the shit he was talking about.  At that time, Ryan and myself started counting just how many swear words flew out of his mouth.  We are talking thousands!

Fast forward and we have three Kevin Smith movies.  In “Dogma” George Carlin played the ideal role…for irony that is…. Cardinal Glick of the Roman Catholic Church.  Then one cocksucker in “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”.  He ended with a role that was as left of center as you could get for Carlin.  The loving, blue collar dad in “Jersey Girl.

And here I am at the age of 24 for, and still think he is one of the best out there.  So much that he seems immortal.

 That is why, when I came home from bowling Sunday night, to find that his heart had failed, it became a huge surprise to me.  I got to know his work over the years, and caught up on everything that I missed.  Every joke, everything he did was real and brilliant.  He was the same on stage as he was off stage. Every comedian from Lewis Black to Jerry Seinfeld have a little George Carlin in their act.  He set the path for so many and set the bar so high.

He was a one of the kind, and he will be missed.  I will leave you with this…

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating… and you finish off as an orgasm.” - George Carlin

It FINALLY got warm in Seattle. So I did what any one else would do!

I rode my bike to the beach!

National Champions, Kansas Jayhawks, #1!

ROCK CHALK, JAYHAWK, GO KU!

I enjoy finding new music, which is why I like this time of the year.

I got my newest issue of Alternative Press in the mail today and they have their list of “100 Bands You Need To Know In ‘08″.

I ran down the list and picked out bands that I thought I would like and here are the results:

Charlotte Sometimes
Kate Nash*
Another Day Late
Bridge and Tunnel
Grand Old Part
Georgie James
Vampire Weekend*
The Action Design*
Katy Perry

*= I have heard of, just never listened to them much.

So that’s the list!  I will check them out, write notes, listen and then re-blog about what I thought of them.

With that said, check out Suzannah Johannes.  Very folk like, but something with her voice I totally dig it.  It was a great find for me!

Okay, now off to listen to music.

I shouldn’t care, but it strikes me in the same way Dante in Clerks finds out about his ex’s engagement.

6 years since it all started, 1 year of that was a relationship, 3 years following I was sent into a tail spin where I lost my grip and my innocence.  I’m okay with everything now, and I am completely happy with who I am with now.  And this is why I shouldn’t care about this.

My intuition always chimes in perfectly when it comes to her, it’s almost a 6th sense sort of deal.  Needless to say I have had past relationships on my mind lately. Pretty much because a good amount of them are getting married.  I hadn’t heard from her in awhile and yes, I am guilty of thinking about her the other night.  I check her facebook in the morning and her status changed on Valentines Day, to engaged…

Reading this gave me a strange feeling. Partially because I was hoping to beat her to the punch, I can’t explain why else.  It shouldn’t of had any effect on me.  But I had to get out, I took a drive down the coast.  I guess I had to remind myself about how better off I am now…and how I am better off.

So I got home from my drive, and left comment, simply saying “congratulations”.  I guess the biggest problem is there has never been closure.  I’m like Rob in High Fidelity when he runs through his Top 5.  I need that closure and I never had that with her, odds are I never will.

 I’m okay, and that’s life, right?

 Throw It On The Fire…